How To Overcome Self-Sabotage
REASONS
Tony Robbins says there are many reasons we give for our self-sabotage, things hold us back: no money to invest in ourselves, no support from family or friends, we don’t know how to move forward, we are afraid of failing, and more. He also says that the number one reason people fail is that they sabotage themselves.
Self-sabotage can take many passive forms: procrastination, not completing projects, not showing up, not being prepared. There are also many active ways we may sabotage our success: using alcohol or drugs, staying up late and being tired the next day, overeating, escaping in television or social media, and more.
The list of ways we stand in our own way goes on and on.
7-Steps for Overcoming Self-Sabotage
1. SEE YOUR SELF-SABOTAGE
See what you’re doing that presents blocks to your progress. Know this: if you aren’t successful right now, you are doing something to hold yourself back. This can be conscious or subconscious, and the road blocks are there.
2. RECOGNIZE YOUR PART IN SELF-SABOTAGE
Recognize the foundation of your self-sabotaging behaviors. Maybe you feel you don’t deserve success, you’re not good enough, you’re afraid you’ll fail and be criticized, you’re afraid you’ll succeed, notice the role you played in these beliefs and the limitations that came from them.
3. ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT OTHERS SAID & DID
From an early age, you’ve been told things like: “Don’t do that,” “That’s bad,” You’re bad,” “We can’t afford that,” and more.
You have been programmed in a gazillion ways, probably from birth, to stand in your own way. Even the culture can blame and shame you and you end up feeling worthless.
4. FORGIVENESS IS IMPORTANT IN OVER-COMING SELF-SABOTAGE
Forgive yourself and others for making it difficult (or impossible) for you to succeed. When I first heard this idea, I said “No way can I ever forgive what was done to me.” We all have a choice, we can forgive and move on (and up). Or we can hold on to blaming, faulting, and guilting, and that choice lays the groundwork for our negative outcomes.
5. TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR MINDSET
To take control of our outcomes, we must choose between 1) limiting ideas and the limited actions they inspire, or 2) uplifting ideas that are the springboard for our success.
6. CHOOSE TO CHANGE YOUR THINKING
No matter what our self-sabotaging behavior is, the root of what we do is our thoughts.
7. REPROGRAM YOUR MINDSET - HERE'S HOW
Imagine yourself thinking thoughts that would lead to you taking the correct action.
Imagine yourself saying no to procrastination and yes to positive action.
Imagine yourself thinking of someone telling you, ”You aren’t good enough, You don’t deserve it, and the rest.” Then, Imagine yourself telling them that they are wrong, “I am worthy, I am deserving, I have what it takes,” and more.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON OVERCOMING SELF-SABOTAGE
The good news is: changing your mindset is simple. I didn’t say it’s easy, but it is simple. Take five minutes each day to practice reprograming your mindset, like in number 7, above. Louise Hay suggests doing this exercise in front of a mirror.
It’s not easy to contradict and change deeply-held negative beliefs. But I promise you it will be worth it.