Seeing but not Seeing

Oct 7, 2020

Hi Everyone,

Like most folks, I see but don’t understand what I am seeing. I hear but don’t understand what I am hearing.

Confusing I know.

Jesus said something about “scales falling from eyes and the regaining of sight”. (Acts 9:18)

This is the way I feel. I feel that something has fallen from my eyes, ears, and mind.

I feel that I am finally seeing something I have been seeing for a long time, but just didn’t understand.

Something Not Right

This post and my awakening are the result of a recent telephone market research survey.

I used to do the work of telephone market researcher. I know how difficult it is to get someone to do a survey. I usually will agree to do one but I always immediately say that I am over the age most researchers want opinions from.

I was surprised I wasn’t immediately thanked and released from the call.

My market research job caused me to know what is good market research, what is a well-written survey and who is a good phone researcher.

With this survey, I knew something wasn’t quite right and almost hung up myself.

Today, I finally realized what troubled me about the survey.  The surveyor asked if I was Republican, Democrat or Independent. It was a political survey.

She did not ask if I was a Democratic Socialist. I did not know I was one of these until very recently.

Democratic Socialist

A Democratic Socialist believes that both the economy and the government should work together to meet human needs instead of filling the pockets of the privileged few.

I have believed this for most of my life but could not name my belief until after this survey.

Until this survey, I didn’t understand that I have changed. I am finally seeing what I have been seeing but didn’t know I was seeing, what I didn’t know had a name.

The scales have/had fallen off.

I am finally seeing the ugliness of capitalism. I can no longer support the economic system that calls itself capitalism.

Notice I am saying “economic system”; I am not saying “government system”. Although we, in this age, have intertwined the two, they are two separate systems.

Radical Change

Changing to a Democratic Socialist is a radical and new move for me. I did not support Sanders; I do now.

I have been witnessing the ugliness of capitalism for a long, long time, but did not understand what I was seeing.

I thought I was seeing the ugliness of one person or small group of people. I was not. I was seeing the meanness of an economic system.

Ugliness of Capitalism

I bought into the belief that people don’t have what they need because they are bad or lazy; that they can rise up against their oppressors; that they can change what they are doing, believing, being; that they are willing victims, that they aren’t doing their purpose or their divine assignment.

I now know I was wrong. Something else is going on that prevents people from fulfilling their needs.

I don’t know what is holding us in this oppressive place of lack and illness.

The market research survey and the events of the past several years have forced me to finally see and finally hear the ugliness of capitalism.

When examined, the ugliness of capitalism equals the ugliness of communism and socialism as they were in the Cold War days.

Men’s Christian March

I confronted this ugliness back in the 1990’s when I worked as a telephone market researcher.

A client came to the office. He and his colleagues were business owners. Their product was not made in America.

That day, they came into a business setting wearing their t-shirts from the Men’s Christian March held that weekend in Washington, DC. They proudly announced that they had just returned from this gathering.

At that time, the research marketing company I worked for allowed its telephone workers to meet clients, listen to the clients describe the project and why they wanted the information we were to collect for them.  We were encouraged to ask questions.

I asked, “What are you doing to help the people of the country where your product is being made?”

I got a “dance around Robin’s barn” answer.  Thinking I didn’t use the correct language, that they didn’t understand my question, I asked again and one more time.

These fine Christian men gave the same response.

I felt like I was given the “usual pat on the head; don’t worry your pretty woman’s head about this” response.

Any woman who has participated in the Women’s Rights Movement knows exactly what I’m describing.

I heard but didn’t understand what I was hearing.

Ugly result

These men were taking advantage of a low income group, a people whose government did little to lift them up and out of extreme poverty.

No matter how hard I try I can’t imagine this Jesus these men said they served being glad about what these men weren’t doing.

Like most of you, thanks to the current occupier of the White House, I have seen and have heard much that is ugly and mean.

Until now, I thought I was witnessing the ugliness and meanness of a certain group.

I no longer think that. I think what I am finally able to describe is the ugly result of allowing a few to have as much as they want when they want at the expense of the many.

It is the result of allowing a few to think they are better than the rest of us, that we should be grateful for the few pieces of silver they allow us to have, that we should vote for them because they might give us a few more pieces of money for our labor.

Communism?  Socialism?

Communism?  Socialism?

Do these systems exist anymore or has something new emerged? I think something new has emerged.

At the moment, I don’t know what.

I only know that none of those systems including capitalism produces the kind of New Normal I want.

My New Normal

My new normal has the choice of being a Democratic Socialist even though I am finished with political parties.

Political parties have evolved into something ugly and mean.

In my Start Over Success Journal, I have written about this in both the Foundation and the My New Normal sections.

My New Normal, my Start Over Success, has fairness, real fairness.

I hear the hurt and bewilderment of those who have paid employment and receive less money than those who are unemployed and received both unemployment and the stimulus unemployment. You are correct. This was and is very unfair.

I have added a new section to my Start Over Success Journal. This section is called Leave Behind.

I leave unfairness—some people call it inequality—behind.

Call to Action

In your Start Over Success Journal, add your thoughts about this topic.

Share your thoughts with me. Email.

And so it is.

Dr. Barb

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Bring Love

Oct. 3, 2020

Hi Everyone,

I am writing in the first part of my Start Over Success Journal; the part call The Foundation.

In the foundation part, we write our thoughts, feelings, opinions, ideas and the events that cause us to make a solid, stable foundation for our Start Over, for our New Normal.

In my new normal, I allow love to be the dominate force. I let myself love myself, others, the air, water, earth and the Cosmos. I let myself both give and receive love.

I add love to my solid, stable foundation. My foundation is strong enough, stable enough to allow me to stretch and grow, to allow me to increase.

Adding love is no easy task.

No easy task

Many of you are like me. It isn’t that you don’t know love or are unable to give it or receive it; it isn’t that you don’t want to give and receive love; something is preventing you/ me/ others from so doing.

We know that we were sent to this planet at this time to be/do/have love. We are clear about this. There is no doubt.

Yet, even with this knowing, we aren’t being the fully loving being we know that we are.

Love is the hardest thing we are called to be, do and know.

A Calling

Yes, love is a calling. It is our main purpose for being here, on this particular planet at this time.

The chaos we are experiencing now is because we can’t bring ourselves to do love, to be love.


We can’t offer it because, in the past, we were rejected for so doing. Our offering of love has been rejected so many times that we can’t bring ourselves to make this offering one more time.

Yet, we have to do this. We have to offer and receive love if we are going to have a new normal.

Yes. Both offer and accept.  Hard. Hard. Hard.

Call to Action

We can’t undo the past. The rejections happened.

The shield we put up to keep from experiencing rejection has to come down.

It will only come down piece by piece.

Therefore, start by loving the person who won’t reject you: yourself.

Start Slowly

Start slowly: do self care taking.

That means eat food that is good for your body type. Rest. Drink good, clean, refreshing water.

Do at least one fun thing a day.

I am certain you will add to this list.

No matter what: keep on loving yourself.

Your new normal, your Start Over Success depends on it.

And so it is.

Dr. Barb

Please support Start Over Success. Please use PayPal.

Contact me at